patrickyfuckinstumpy:

soldierpallaton:

your-villainous-neighbour:

heartachemotel:

eratomusings:

eratomusings:

Yall think the gods take classics classes for fun

Professor: whys your drawing look like that lol artemis would be paler

Apollo, twin sister to Artemis, has seen her at least once a week for 4,000 years:

professor: ares is the god of war and is evil.

ares:

Professor: Hades is the god of the underworld and is therefore evil and cold and heartless

Persephone, who has seen her husband cry secret tears of Manly Anguish every time she has to go live with her mother for six months:

Professor: Not even the crack of dawn was safe from Zeus.

Zeus:

Professor: Medusa was cursed by Athena because she was asking for Poseidon to rape her

Athena, who gave her the gift of protection from greedy eyes:

foreverxunstable:

my friend: hey u ok

 me, in a depressive episode:

them: hello

 me, 8 days later: ahsjksk my bad yeah im fine!!! how are YOU tho??!!

all-that-glitters29:

i-am-a-fish:

LET BOYS WEAR SKIRTS

LET BOYS SHAVE

LET BOYS PAINT THEIR NAILS

JUST LET PEOPLE DO THINGS!!

To be more specific, let straight boys do these things

throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight:

hellalambs:

ibroketuesday:

deanscourse:

paper-mario-wiki:

i’ll never get over the fact that there’s a movie called “snakes on a plane” and in that movie there’s a line that is, verbatim, “ive had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane”.

that is absolutely bonkers. that’s ridiculous. that’s like making a movie called “gators in the sewer” and having someone in the movie say “im getting really sick and tired of these fucking gators in the sewer”

the funny part is that the alternate title was something mundane like “flight 93″ and samuel l. jackson made the director change it back to “snakes on a plane” bc he said it was the only reason he auditioned

oh my god, the youth have forgotten that there was a huge viral phenomenon when this movie was being filmed, where the internet got wind of the working title snakes on a plane, and a) demanded that title be made official, b) CAME UP WITH the line about these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane, and c) GOT THE LINE INCLUDED IN THE ACTUAL MOVIE

You forgot the part where three up and coming bands in the emo scene collaborated to write a song called Snakes On a Plane and filmed a music video of themselves smuggling snakes onto a plane, and it practically launched all of their careers.

If you think for one second of my worthless life I have forgotten “Bring It (Snakes on a Plane)” released by Cobra Starship (2006) then you can think the fuck again

quicksilver-rain:

quicksilver-rain:

quicksilver-rain:

One of the contractors at work drove past my shack on a forklift yesterday, stopped, backed up to my window and said, “hey, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

My knee jerk response when asked this, even if it’s by a companionable dude old enough to be my dad, is to go, “uh, nah-” and then ramble uncomfortably until someone stops me-

-which is what I started to do, only to be cut off by Contractor saying, in an embarrassed rush, “some of the guys were asking me because you and I talk sometimes, but I didn’t want them to hit on you at work, so I told them that you Worship the Devil and would Hex them if they tried. I’m sorry.”

Which leaves me wheezing helplessly, trying to get my shit together, because this is honestly one of the nicest, most hysterical things I’ve ever heard someone say to me.

Oblivious to this, Contractor then follows up with, “and they were like ‘forreal??’ so I was like, ‘yeah, she’s probably a sadist, too, you can tell by her jewelry. She’ll stab you or something.’”

And tbh I can’t even come up with anything witty to say in response, so all I manage to choke out is, “pleASE LET THEM CONTINUE TO THINK THAT, I’M BEGGING YOU.”

And Contractor just smiles and is like, “Okay! I just wanted to let you know!” before driving off with his forklift.

Like?? Thank god for Contractor tbh. He’s an angel among men, and I hope the rest of his life is filled with prosperity and happiness and like, that he finds $20 on the ground every week for the rest of his life.

Update: Every time Contractor sees me, he does a little Devil Horns gesture at me and its adorable.

Update the Second: I saw Contractor while doing my tour and he told me that the guy that asked if I was single was around, and that if I saw him, I should just make complicated hand gestures at him while I walk by to scare him off.

This guy’s a fuckin gem.

today-only-happens-once:

To anyone who is going to get misgendered today.

To anyone who is going to hear a part of their identity dismissed today.

To anyone who is going to hear homophobia and feel it on a deeply personal level today.

You are valid and loved. So much.

sapphicvevo:

bara-paladin:

In 2019 we grow from sex positivity to sex responsibility, meaning we:

• call out shitty people who are just abusers and using kink/polyamory to mask it and stop supporting them
• recognize that sometimes hypersexuality can be a form a self-harm for some people
• keep kinks and fetishes in appropriate spaces and not bringing them out into general public spaces and thereby involving people in scenes they aren’t consenting to 
• understand that some fetishes are inherently unhealthy and some illegal to actually engage in for good reason and ignoring that is irresponsible at best

• teaching teenagers safe sex but not encouraging them to engage or seek out dangerous sexual situations or sex with a partner who doesn’t care about them in an attempt to be ‘sexually liberated’ 

master-fiber:

“You’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, my friend.” Is such a brilliant line that sounds like it came outta the cigarette addled mouth of some noir detective interrogating a slimy perp, but no, it was actually Justin McElroy admonishing his brother’s driving skills in American Truck Simulator™️ and I think it’s beautiful how we can all just say words