this is the purest video you will see all day, it includes not only practical advice on how to make cats feel comfortable but also:
the most patient and long suffering clawdia
bob ross, but a vet
squish the cat
squish the cat, but with a towel
absolute unit mr. pirate
a little chubby but quite beautiful
please watch this immediately
Squish! That! Cat!
I considered myself to be well versed on cats/communicating with cats. I’ve lived with at least two cats my whole life, and currently live with two very different cats who I love. Apparently most cats are shoulder cats? My cat Mason has always been very nervous about going up on people’s shoulders, so I thought I’d try the “shoulder cat” technique.
I had to help him up on my shoulders because he’s never done it himself before. But once I got him up there I squished him, he started purring like nobody’s business. I carried him around our entire apartment, up and down staircases, and he was so happy. He didn’t try to leave once! When I put him down he head butted me and meowed and was super affectionate. And of course I gave him a treat.
TLDR- Even if you live with cats and think you understand cats, please watch this video.
This is honest to god one of the best videos I’ve ever seen
I’m sure someone’s already transcribed this, but just in case they haven’t:
GRIFFIN: “…ah, but this Yahoo was sent in by, ah,
Amelie Belcher! Thanks, Amelie. It’s by Yahoo Answers user— JUSTIN: (weird falsetto with undetermined accent)
“Amelie?” [A beat of silence.] GRIFFIN: “What was that?
What wa—” JUSTIN: “It’s my impression of Amelie from the film—”
GRIFFIN: “From the
movie, ‘Amelie’?” JUSTIN: (weird falsetto with accent) “Amelie!” [Another beat.] GRIFFIN: “’Cause she just walks around—” TRAVIS: “That’s not an impression, you just—” GRIFFIN: “It’s about a young girl—” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “Allo! I am Amelie!” GRIFFIN: (laughing) “—who… can only say her own
name.” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I cook an egg with a spoon!” [Griffin is still laughing.] JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “Amelie!” TRAVIS: (quietly) “Jesus.” GRIFFIN: (in hysterics) “She cook an egg with a spoon?” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “Fall in love again with me, Amelie!
Now on DVD!” TRAVIS: “This week on Moneyzone: Amelie.” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “You missed the f—you missed out new
relationships but maybe fall in love with me Amelie!” (I think? “Amelie”’s mystical
accent is difficult to parse. It’s like French-Finnish-Swedish or something.) “Don’t look for me on BluRay, I’m not on
BluRay yet! I’m on DVD!” [Griffin coughs, and then continues laughing. As “Amelie” goes on, you can hear Griffin laughing harder and harder.] JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I’m too small to fit on the BluRay,
they lose me… I am Amelie! I’m hiding near the spindle… I am Amelie! JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “This laser
disc is gigantic. I am on the edge of it. Hellooo!” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “It is like a plate for my
egg dinner. Delicious! I am Amelie!” [Griffin is now crying laughing.] JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I am inside your pocket. You have
enough money to buy my DVD!” GRIFFIN: (weeping) “You
have to stop or it’ll be the whole show!” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I miss VHS tapes because I would
get in the little holes and spin around. Like teacups at Disney—” TRAVIS: “Is she a Borrower?! What’s going on?!” JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “Yes I live in a hole with a mice king!”
[Travis is now also laughing, while Griffin continues to
unravel.] JUSTIN, as AMELIE: “I’m married to the mice king. My
staff is a lollipop. Amelie!” [Another beat. I suspect Griffin edited out a long stretch
of him pleading for sweet release.] GRIFFIN: (catching his breath) “Okay.” TRAVIS: “Oh, jesus.” GRIFFIN: (sniffling and weak) “Thank you. Ugh. Christ.
Gimme a second. All right.”
End transcription. It is important that you know that occasionally, to this day, if the name Amelie is mentioned, Justin’s “Amelie” will very quietly say her own name.
teakepp 