Tag: identity

discardedtwigs:

Words are important. We define ourselves by words, our names, our ages, the words we use to talk about ourselves, bodies and minds. Words are so important to us and our sense of selves that a lack of words feels like a lack of self.

But I want you to know that just because you don’t know the words for yourself doesn’t mean you are not yourself, words are not the most important when it comes to who you are. Words change, words lose meanings and gain new ones.

So you’re a girl and you see a girl bite her lip and you think of a word, try to glue it to your skin, say “this is who i am” and maybe you’ll see a boy’s smile and rip off the word off your skin and it’ll feel red and sore and empty and you’ll still pick at the scab everytime a girl smiles at you.

You don’t need to glue the words to yourself, let them come, let them hover around you, a cloud of possibilities. Hold them into your palm under the cover of night, look them over, see if there’s a spot for them somewhere, your collarbone, your ankle, your neck. Put it back, pick another one, take it apart, sprinkle it on your hair. Better? No? Let it fall like stardust. Nothing is definite and there are words you don’t know yet. Maybe no one word will ever fit you, maybe you need five words instead of one. So what?

Maybe you’re 40yo and you pick apart at your skin, trying to see if there’s a word hidden under that flesh. Maybe you’re 14 and your skin still growing and you look into the new layers for a word, a sign, a meaning.

Don’t.

Don’t hurt yourself trying to find yourself. There’s no deadline and nobody’s got a headstart on you, words come and go and you will find the ones you need, or you will find that you don’t need any. Free yourself from the expectations and you will know yourself, layer by layer.